Why Family Men Are Struggling

Why Family Men Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It

Why family men are struggling is a question more people are finally starting to ask. It’s not about pointing fingers or starting a battle between the sexes. It’s about facing real issues with honesty and empathy, and finding ways to help men, especially those devoted to their families, live meaningful and empowered lives.

This conversation came into sharper focus when Richard Reeves, senior fellow at the Brookings Institution and author of Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It, bravely addressed the issues that many are too hesitant to even acknowledge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnHBZXr5qp8&t=1s

The Struggle Is Real—and Measurable

Reeves begins by acknowledging a hard truth: modern men are struggling, and we’ve got the data to prove it. Education gaps, job losses in male-dominated industries, declining life satisfaction, and even increasing loneliness—these aren’t just statistics. These are symptoms of a quiet crisis that affects husbands, fathers, and sons.

Why family men are struggling can be seen in their daily lives. Many feel directionless or alienated in a culture that often ignores their contributions or labels their needs as threats. Reeves talks openly about how even writing a book about this topic felt dangerous, because some might label him as part of the “manosphere” or the far right.

But that’s exactly why he wrote the book. He argues that when responsible people fail to talk about real problems, irresponsible ones swoop in to exploit them.

When Men Stay Silent, Everyone Suffers

Many men, especially those focused on their roles as providers and protectors, aren’t comfortable talking about their pain. They may not even recognize that they are struggling. But behind the silence is often a sense of confusion, guilt, or even shame. Why family men are struggling is not just a question for social scientists. It’s a real concern for those of us building homes, raising kids, and showing up daily.

According to Reeves, we need to challenge the assumption that talking about male hardship undermines the progress of women. That’s simply not true. Reeves boldly states that we can think two thoughts at once: that boys and men are facing specific challenges, and that women and girls still face many systemic barriers.

This both/and perspective is essential. Ignoring one group’s pain doesn’t help the other.

The Cost of Not Addressing the Problem

The cost of avoiding this conversation is high. Reeves points out that if we don’t address why family men are struggling in a responsible way, we risk handing the narrative over to bad actors who don’t seek healing but division. That’s how extremist voices gain traction—they feed on the silence of the reasonable majority.

Family men, especially those in working-class or minority communities, are increasingly vulnerable to being overlooked or misrepresented. This can erode not only their own sense of worth but also the strength of the families they support.

So let’s be clear: lifting men up isn’t about pushing anyone else down. It’s about strengthening the entire social fabric.

Recognizing Unique Masculine Strengths

Part of the solution is recognizing and valuing the unique strengths that men bring to family life. These aren’t about outdated gender roles but rather about healthy masculinity—leadership rooted in service, discipline shaped by love, and ambition driven by purpose.

Reeves urges us to empower men by giving them practical tools and opportunities to thrive. This means better access to mental health care, education reform that addresses gender gaps, and a shift in how we talk about men in public life.

Why family men are struggling is not because they’re failing. It’s often because they’re trying to live up to outdated expectations while navigating a world that has dramatically changed—without guidance, support, or recognition.

Why We Need to Talk About It

Silence has consequences. When men bottle up their feelings or feel alienated from society, it leads to broken marriages, disconnected parenting, and communities that suffer from the loss of strong male engagement.

Reeves' book and the interview underscore the importance of having this conversation—not just among scholars and policymakers but around kitchen tables and in men’s groups. Platforms like this one, dedicated to helping men grow in marriage and family life, play a crucial role.

Let’s be honest: it takes courage to admit that you’re struggling. It takes even more courage to seek help. But when men open up about their challenges, they create space for growth, healing, and genuine transformation.

What Can Be Done?

So what can we do to reverse this trend?

1. 
   

   Acknowledge the problem without fear. Talking about why family men are struggling doesn’t diminish anyone else’s struggle. It adds to the conversation, not subtracts from it.

   
   


2. 
   

   Encourage emotional expression. Strong men feel deeply. Making room for those emotions in healthy ways strengthens relationships and models emotional maturity for sons.

   
   


3. 
   

   Challenge cultural stereotypes. Not all men fit the rigid definitions of masculinity. And that’s okay. A healthy identity as a husband and father starts with embracing both strength and vulnerability.

   
   


4. 
   

   Build community. Men need circles of support. Whether through church, work, or interest-based groups, having other men to talk to can make all the difference.

   
   


5. 
   

   Support equitable policies. Educational reform that addresses male dropout rates, job training in emerging industries, and accessible mental health care are key pillars in helping men reclaim purpose and stability.

   
   


6. 
   

   Model healthy family leadership. Family men who are present, engaged, and growing become beacons for others. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to show up and be willing to learn.

   
   

In Praise of Responsible Voices

We commend Richard Reeves for stepping into this uncomfortable space. He represents a new kind of thought leader: one who sees the full picture, who cares deeply about both boys and girls, and who isn’t afraid to challenge narratives that don’t reflect reality.

Why family men are struggling is a hard question, but we must keep asking it. Because until we do, we won’t see the healing and change that are so badly needed—not just for men, but for their wives, children, and communities.

Final Thought

Let’s stop asking men to carry their burdens silently. Let’s give them tools to grow, space to feel, and permission to be human. By doing so, we don’t just support men—we strengthen families. And when families thrive, everyone wins.

https://wisehusband.com/why-family-men-are-struggling/?fsp_sid=166