About the Harmful Modern Feminist Way

The Harmful Modern Feminist Way and Its Impact on Relationships

Psychologist Shaun Smith exposes the radical and harmful feminist ideas and suggests ways to handle them. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCD0FVodIT4

Understanding the Harmful Modern Feminist Way

Let’s talk about something many family men feel but hesitate to say out loud. It’s the rising tension between traditional relationship values and the shifting landscape of modern feminism. More specifically, the harmful modern feminist way that’s crept into everyday life and relationships.

This isn’t about hating women. It’s not about rolling back women’s rights or blaming feminism as a whole. In fact, many men support the basic idea of equality. But what we’re seeing now is a version of feminism that has morphed into something more emotional, less logical, and frankly, more harmful.

That’s what one popular speaker tackled in his video “Never Date a Real Feminist.” He doesn’t attack all feminists. Instead, he focuses on a destructive trend—the harmful modern feminist way that makes relationships feel more like battles than bonds.

When Emotion Beats Logic in Daily Life

One of the biggest takeaways from the video is how the harmful modern feminist way often prioritizes emotion over logic. The speaker uses the wage gap as an example. While data shows that career choices, experience, and hours worked explain most of the gap, some people ignore those facts. Why? Because they’re emotionally committed to the belief that sexism is the core issue.

This kind of emotional reasoning doesn’t stay on college campuses or in think pieces. It shows up in relationships too. Imagine arguing over money, parenting, or how to spend time during the holidays—and being met with emotional resistance instead of reasoned discussion.

The harmful modern feminist way encourages people to feel overthink. In a marriage or committed partnership, that can turn simple disagreements into never-ending conflicts. When logic is dismissed as "mansplaining" and emotions are weaponized, it’s no wonder many men feel like they’re always walking on eggshells.

Victimhood Over Accountability

Another issue is the rejection of personal responsibility. The speaker points out that the harmful modern feminist way teaches helplessness and vindictiveness. When someone constantly sees themselves as a victim, it’s hard for them to accept feedback, grow, or compromise.

This is a major red flag in relationships. Accountability is essential for building trust and solving problems. If one partner always plays the victim and refuses to look inward, the relationship becomes emotionally lopsided.

Family men know how tough it is to lead and provide while also staying emotionally present. But when that effort is met with suspicion or scorn, it becomes draining. The harmful modern feminist way paints men as oppressors by default, regardless of their intentions or actions.

The Problem With Never Celebrating Success

A surprising point raised in the video is that many modern feminists don’t even celebrate success. Women now outperform men in many areas—especially in education. That’s something worth applauding. But instead of celebrating, some feminists hold "grief circles" on campuses, mourning the imbalance.

Why? Because acknowledging success would weaken the victim narrative. And that narrative is central to the harmful modern feminist way.

This mindset affects relationships too. If your partner is stuck in a worldview that sees all success as privilege or patriarchy, your accomplishments might not be welcomed. Even your desire to lead and protect your family could be seen as oppressive instead of supportive.

That’s a toxic environment for any man trying to build a peaceful, loving home.

Masculinity Is Not the Enemy

Let’s be clear. Masculinity is not toxic. The harmful modern feminist way teaches people to view masculine traits like leadership, strength, and confidence as dangerous or outdated. But in reality, these traits are what many families need—when expressed with love, patience, and wisdom.

Men are expected to show up, protect, provide, and lead. But the same culture that demands these things also mocks them. That contradiction confuses men and destabilizes relationships.

Family men need to feel valued for what they bring. When they are constantly told to “do better” while being denied appreciation for what they already do, resentment starts to grow.

It’s Not About Politics, It’s About Inner Peace

One of the most grounded insights in the video is that this is not about politics. It’s about choosing wisely who you let into your inner circle. Relationships affect everything—your peace, your parenting, even your productivity.

You can have differing opinions and still build a strong marriage. But if the person you’re with embodies the harmful modern feminist way—if they reject logic, refuse accountability, and see you as an adversary—it will chip away at your sense of self.

Protecting your mental and emotional health means recognizing these signs early. And if you’re already in a relationship like this, it’s not too late to have honest conversations, seek help, and set healthy boundaries.

What to Look For Instead

There are women out there—many of them—who believe in equality and still value logic, respect, and joy. They don’t view every disagreement as an attack or every man as a threat. These women are a breath of fresh air in a culture that’s become more combative than collaborative.

The opposite of the harmful modern feminist way is not traditionalism or submission. It’s balance. It’s partnership. It’s both people taking responsibility, practicing emotional maturity, and valuing each other’s contributions.

That’s the kind of relationship worth fighting for. That’s what healthy masculinity thrives in. And that’s what our children need to see modeled at home.

Final Thoughts: Stay Grounded, Lead With Love

The harmful modern feminist way is not just a set of ideas—it’s a mindset that can erode everything good in a relationship. It turns partners into opponents and success into suspicion. But by staying grounded in truth, accountability, and love, family men can push back against this trend.

We’re not victims. We’re leaders. And we must lead with calm strength, not reactionary anger. Call out the harmful ideas, but also offer better ones. Set boundaries, but keep your heart open. Show what it means to be a strong man who builds instead of breaks.

Have You Experienced the Harmful Modern Feminist Way?

If you've dated or been married to someone influenced by this mindset, I want to hear your story. Share your experience in the comments. We’re not here to bash—we're here to understand, to support each other, and to find a better way forward.

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