Impact of Attacks on Men and Masculinity

The Impact of Attacks on Men and Masculinity: Why It Matters to Family Men

Helen Smith, an American psychologist, wrote the book Men on Strike with a lot of empathy towards men and great concern for society at large. Describing how our society has become increasingly hostile and unfair towards men, she wonders: 

“Why should men participate in a system that seems to be increasingly stacked against them?”

She argues that marriage is unfair to men and that divorce laws and policies act against them. So much so that when men start a family, they risk:

• losing power
• losing out on sex
• losing their children and money
• losing their space
• losing their freedom

“Our society, the media, the government, women and white knights have regulated and demanded that any incentives men have for acting like men be taken away and decried masculinity as evil. Now they are seeing the result....

Men are opting out, bailing out and going on strike in response to the attack on their gender.

Treating men like the enemy is dangerous, both to men and to the society that needs their positive participation as fathers, husbands, role models and leaders." (p 121)

From the book "Men on Strike" by the American psychologist Helen Smith. 

So what is the solution?

Smith is talking straight to your Warrior: “It’s time for men to fight back!”

Her action plan is a bit aggressive and tailored to the social-cultural front. If men are humiliated and shamed by society, they should opt out! E.g., stop risking their lives to protect women. 

In her passion to advocate for men, it seems to me that Smith has made some provocative statements aimed at women. She warns them against the terrible consequences of alienating men and weakening their masculinity. 

However, our project is more humble: helping one family at a time, your family, by strengthening you as the man in your family. Going on strike is certainly not an option.

In the context of families, men indeed have lost power as women have gained it. But we should never blame women for that. Good for them! We, as men, should do what men do: use our masculine strengths to take charge, act, assert boundaries, and lead. This is your way as a man to reclaim your power. 

For cases of injustice or abuse, as Smith describes in her book, Wise Husband should not just operate the role of the Warrior. We always aim at keeping all four roles working together. Your King helps you stick to your core principles and values. Your Magician helps you keep things in perspective, assess reality with common sense, and avoid the reactivity trap. Your Lover reminds you that connection is far more important than winning in your relationship. 

Ultimately, you want to succeed in the mission of raising a secure and happy family. For this, balancing all four roles is the wise approach.

Helen Smith’s book Men on Strike is not just a cry of frustration. It is a sober look at the impact of attacks on men and masculinity. She writes from the heart, not just as a psychologist, but as someone genuinely concerned about the future of society. What happens when men feel pushed out of their traditional roles? When their efforts are no longer valued but criticized? The result, she argues, is that men are walking away—from relationships, from family life, from responsibilities they once embraced with pride.

At the core of Smith’s argument is a simple but powerful question: “Why should men participate in a system that seems to be increasingly stacked against them?” That question captures the heart of the issue. The impact of attacks on men and masculinity is not only cultural or political. It reaches deep into the personal choices men are making today.

Men are not just disengaging from work or leadership. They are walking away from relationships, marriage, and even fatherhood. Why? Because the rules have changed, and they no longer see a fair game.

How the Deck Got Stacked

Smith is blunt about how the legal and cultural shifts have affected men. She points to family courts that favor mothers in custody battles. She highlights how marriage has become a risky contract for men. According to her, when a man starts a family, he risks losing:

• his personal power

• his sexual agency

• access to his children

• financial stability

• his private space

• and even his freedom

That is the harsh reality for many men today. These are not hypothetical fears. They are lived experiences. The impact of attacks on men and masculinity shows up when a divorced father has to fight just to see his children or when a husband is shamed for expressing frustration in his own home.

Men on Strike: A Call to Opt Out

Smith’s conclusion is bold: men are on strike. They are checking out. They are avoiding marriage, avoiding commitment, and avoiding taking on roles that once gave them purpose. This is the impact of attacks on men and masculinity, playing out in real time.

She does not stop at diagnosis. She offers a plan. But her action plan is confrontational: stop saving society, stop protecting women, stop playing a game that’s rigged against you.

To some, this might sound extreme. But Smith is aiming at shaking up the conversation. She wants to wake up a culture that takes men for granted.

Why We Need a Better Response

At Wise Husband, we understand the frustration. We acknowledge the impact of attacks on men and masculinity. But our solution is different.

We believe in the power of the individual man to rise—not to withdraw.

Instead of walking away, we focus on helping men show up better in their own families. The change starts not by checking out but by checking in—with yourself, your values, your power as a man.

We don’t believe that women gaining power means men must lose it. We say good for women! Let them rise. But let us rise too, with strength, not bitterness.

Reclaiming Your Masculine Strength Without War

The answer is not to go on strike. The answer is to engage with strength, clarity, and wisdom.

When the impact of attacks on men and masculinity hits your family, your natural response might be to fight. But what if there is another way to fight—one that strengthens your household instead of hardening your heart?

This is where the Wise Husband framework comes in. You don’t just need a Warrior. You need all four archetypes working in harmony:

• The Warrior helps you assert your boundaries and protect your family.

• The King holds your core principles and reminds you of the bigger picture.

• The Magician helps you think clearly and stay calm under pressure.

• The Lover reminds you why connection is more important than control.

When you feel dismissed or disrespected, your Warrior is ready to rise. But don’t forget to bring your King, your Magician, and your Lover with you.

Leading Without Blaming

Let’s also be honest: some men are stuck in the blame game. It’s easy to point fingers at women or the system. But blaming won’t restore your leadership. Responsibility will.

Yes, society has changed. And yes, many of those changes have affected men negatively. But that’s not the full story.

We are not powerless. The impact of attacks on men and masculinity is real, but so is the potential for a strong masculine response—one based on character, courage, and clarity.

When your wife speaks up or takes the lead in certain areas, it’s not always an attack on you. Let’s stop seeing partnership as a threat to manhood. Let’s start seeing it as a calling for better leadership.

From Reaction to Mission

The world needs men who are engaged, not enraged. Our families need men who respond with purpose, not panic. We are not trying to save society in one fell swoop. We’re trying to help you succeed in the one mission that matters most—building a secure and happy family.

That’s your battleground. That’s where your strength is most needed. And that’s where your masculinity finds its most meaningful expression.

The impact of attacks on men and masculinity can be reversed—but not by retreating. Only by showing up with your full self.

So here’s our challenge: don’t go on strike. Step up.

Let others debate the politics. Let us men do what we’ve always done at our best—lead with strength, protect with love, and build with wisdom.

Final Thoughts

Helen Smith’s voice is a wake-up call. We do need to talk about how men are treated and valued. The impact of attacks on men and masculinity is too important to ignore. But we don’t need to withdraw to make a point. We need to lead better.

Start with your family. That’s where real change begins. Not with protest—but with presence. Not with anger—but with action.

Your family needs your masculine strength now more than ever. Use it wisely.

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